I am happy to create ceremonies for any occasion which you wish to mark with a ritual of some kind.
Here are two very different types of ceremony which I feel mark important transitions in many peoples lives: The ending of an intimate relationship between two people, and the ending of a relationship between a person or a family and their beloved animal companion.
Divorce & Relinquishment Ceremonies
Untying the knots and bonds of marriage , or any intense relationship can be a long and painful process, filled with many conflicting emotions, and a good deal of self-questioning.
Having been through divorce myself, I know only too well how difficult it can be.
I offer ceremonies of healing which can perhaps begin or continue a process of affirming faith in our abiity to be in relationship again, a process of relinquishment of the bonds that tied us to a certain person , a process of letting go of anger and blame.
Participating in a form of ritual , which I would create after listening deeply to you, with reference to your particular needs, can help you to truly mourn the end of a relationship, which, after all, has nearly always been begun in hope and optimism, however differently it has ended.
We naturally make a ritual to begin a marriage ; surely it is just as natural to have a formal ceremony to acknowledge and end this period of time you have spent with a particular person.
This can be done jointly or individually according to need, and at any point when you feel the need to sever the bonds that have tied you together .
After a while I learnt the subtle difference between holding and chaining a soul.
And I am learning that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security.
And I've begun to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.
And I've begun to accept my defeats with my head up and my eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.
And I am learning to build all my roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. And I learnt that even sunshine burns If I get too much. So I began to plant my own garden and decorate my own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring me flowers. And I learned that I really can endure; that I really am strong, and I really do have worth.
And I"m learning, and learning,
With every goodbye I learn.
Such a Ceremony doesn't have to be dripping with sentimentality; just taken seriously as the formal marking of the death of a being with whom you have had a particular and important relationship, and whose life and death deserve to be honoured.
As with any human funeral, having ritualised the transition, it is more possible to move beyond the pain and into remembering with love.
These are some of the words I used, when I was asked recently to perform a ceremony for some friends whose beloved cat companion had died.
"During this time of grief, we light our candles in memory of T. May the flame remind you of the love and warmth you feel for him. May the power of the flame give you courage on your healing journey as the sadness is gradually replaced by warm memories."
"Now that T’s time has come to leave this earthly world, you , E and I, his family, are overcome with sadness and grief . You miss your companion and his familiar ways."
You have lost a member of your family, one of your most important life companions, a being who loved you unconditionally .
But now you need to let him go; like us all he was born, he lived, and he was blessed to live a very sweet and happy life, beloved by both of you, and now it is in the natural way of things that he has slipped away.
But T will live forever in your hearts.
Let us now return his ashes to the earth."
"Jane did a lovely little 'saying farewell to our beloved cat Tompoes' ceremony with us under our cherry blossom tree - the ribbons are still there tied to the branches under which we spread our cat's ashes." I & E